Parenting Advice: be less neurotic than me



So, Graham was a late talker. He didn't even really babble until he was 18 months old, and didn't say anything regularly until this summer. The fact that he was way behind most of his friends in this respect had me in a full blown tizzy, especially because many of our girl toddler friends were essentially brokering real estate deals by the same age. It seemed only slightly less fun for Graham, who went through a few months when the fact that we couldn't understand his wants (uh, his demands) resulted in tears every day. Ok, several times a day. We had him evaluated and started receiving services through Early Intervention.

It was when we started attending a playgroup at our EI center that I began to wonder if I had jumped the gun. Many of these kids had been premature, or have more obvious cognitive disabilities, or show signs of being Autistic. Their moms had known each other for a long time and they chatted about progress and specialists. We knew that Graham seemed to understand a lot; he just didn't respond at all (and then, not understandably).

Then, just a few weeks ago, Graham found his tongue. In a big way. He went from linking two words together (which is a big developmental gold star) to speaking in full sentences, to repeating everything last thing we say (there goes the swearing, I promise). Because this whole evolution has been ramped up, we are still AMAZED every time the process works the way it should. He asks for the song about marching dinosaurs and we play it. He asks for peanut butter toast and I make it. No more frustration on either end (except I am now officially a toddler lackey).

I have the following to add to any conversations that have been going on among our friends about developmental issues. Timetables suck. We KNEW this- have known it since Graham outpaced the growth chart at 6 months, but I still got caught up in the hysteria. My other big failing? To compare my kid to every other child we know. We've seen our little band of merry toddlers change so much in the past year, and they are all awesome, and they are ALL doing it on their own schedule. It makes me realize that my desires amounted to a need for Graham to be at least average, when he is actually much more than that. They all are.